The Colored Ribbon
by But I Have Promises To Keep
Summary: After Mal and Natara's daughter is diognosed with autism, can they understand how she sees the world, or will she continue to be misunderstood? Written in honor of Autism Awarness month; April
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, I know I said I was saving this for April, but I thought I'd post it early since April's approaching to raise awareness for Autism Awareness month. This is going to be a series of one shots about Mal and Natara's family adjusting to Darcy being diagnosed with autism. Also, does anyone know who Temple Grandin is? (Don't look it up). If you know, you are officially one of my favorite people on here because I look up to her so much. Not many people know who she is, and I want to see who does. **

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><p><em>"My name is Darcy Fallon, and I see the world differently. I have autism".<em>

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><p>Natara watched as her eldest daughter, Cassandra, attempted to play some sort of game with her sister. She was trying to get her to say some sort of rhyme, while clapping their hands together or on their laps to the rhythm.<p>

_"Little kitty, little kitty, little lost cat_

_I Know where you're hiding, _

_I know where you're at! _

_Little kitty, little kitty, little lost cat_

_where in the world is your home at?"_

But Darcy wasn't paying attention. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, and she was clearly looking at something on the other side of the room.

"Darcy!" her six year old sister whined, grabbing her sisters face to try and get her to look at her. But Darcy kept turning back to what she was staring at, clearly fixated on some random object. She often did this, and although she was two years old she hadn't even spoken her first words yet. Mal said she was just a slow learner, but Natara feared something more.

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><p>"Your daughter has autism".<p>

"What?"

"Your daughter" the doctor said, nodding to Darcy, who sat behind them on the floor. "She has autism".

You could see the shock on both Mal and Natara's faces. Natara's jaw dropped, her eyes widening in shock. Mal didn't respond, but felt as if the world had crashed down on him. "What exactly does that mean?" he asked, glancing back at his daughter as if she had transformed into something new and strange. Darcy's gaze was fixated on a patch of light on the ceiling as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world.

"At this point, we don't know how severe it could be" the doctor said "but there's a good chance she may never speak".

Natara nodded solemnly. Deafness, muteness, any of that they could work around. But Autism? It's so unknown, untreatable. Something that can't be fixed, something that affects every aspect of how Darcy would think. How does one cope with that?

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><p>"Darcy" Natara called to her daughter. It was only a week after she was diagnosed, and Natara found she couldn't accept that her daughter would never speak. It was on the stairs of their two floor home that Darcy liked to sit, her gaze transfixed on pictures that hung on the walls. The mix of colors that were Cassy's first day of school, her parents wedding photo or herself as a tiny infant.<p>

"Darcy" Natara called again, kneeling a step lower than her daughter, holding pictures in her hand. She gently took her daughters face in her hand, trying to guide her gaze to the first picture. Darcy's attention was briefly drawn to the picture being held to her face. "Dog" Natara said, watching as Darcy's eyes focused on the small dog lying in the grass. "Dog" she repeated, trying to get Darcy to repeat it. Darcy once again turned her head, looking at her parents wedding photo. Natara shifted the picture in her hands, looking for another one. "Cat" she said, showing Darcy a picture cut out from a magazine or similar. "Cat".

But there was only one thing going through Darcy's mind as she saw this, words she could recall as if they were being whispered in her ear that very moment.

_ 'Little kitty, little kitty, little lost cat_

_I know where you're hiding, _

_I know where you're at! _

_Little kitty, little kitty, little lost cat_

_where in the world is your home at?'_

These words were whispered into her mind in her sisters voice, gentle and calm. She heard them as if Cassy were right next to her, once again trying to get her to play her game. Natara, seeing her daughters glassy eyed gaze, gave up and left her daughter to her own devices. Darcy once again looked up at the photos above her, seeing one with Cassy and Mal. How many times had she heard Cassy call him a simple three letter word? And at that time, alone and apart from her mother, was when Darcy softly whispered her first word.

"…Dad…".


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, I didn't really have time to write review replies, but I swear I'll try and do it next update. Thanks anyways to everyone who reviewed/favorited, it means a lot! **

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><p>"Do you understand what I'm saying Mrs. Fallon?"<p>

"Oh, I understand perfectly" Natara snapped. Darcy was six, just about to start school. "I was with the FBI you know, you'd be surprised with what I'd understand" she added, sarcasm growing in her voice. She'd been taking Darcy to a specialist ever since her autism was diagnosed as moderate to severe, and with every session she became increasingly frustrated.

"Then you know that, with the severity of your daughters autism, it would be advisable to-"

"You know what?" she said, growing angry "We listened to you when you said to hold Darcy back from kindergarten. Now you listen to me. Darcy doesn't need to be sent to some special school. In fact, that's that last thing she needs".

The doctor rubbed between his eyes, sighing deeply "Mrs. Fallon, look at your daughter". Natara obeyed. Darcy was just outside, visible through the window. She was on a swing set, twisting up the chains of the sides together and letting go so she would spin in fast circles. Her head was slightly lolled back, her eyes closed.

"It calms her down" Natara answered quickly "She easily gets stressed out, and it calms her. She likes the constant motion. We already know her hearing and sight sensory perceptions are disordered, and for some reason this helps her. I don't see why that's such a problem".

"The problem is, what's Darcy going to do when she gets to high school? Spin in her chair before a test?". The doctor paused "Maybe you should come back later with your husband".

Natara's eyes narrowed "I've already discussed this with him. He agrees that Darcy's fine. She's already reading at a third grade level, her speech is improving. If anything she should skip a grade".

"Mrs. Fallon" the doctor said "I don't think you understand. It's a miracle that your daughter can even speak, I don't think she can-".

"Don't tell me what my daughter can or can't do" Natara said, standing up "She's bright, she just looks at things differently. She can do anything she wants to".

"She has a disability".

"What you call a disability" Natara retorted "I call different, but not less".

"If you say so" the doctor said. Natara felt her anger flare. "Look, I have brochures from different schools that would gladly take-"

But Natara was already half-out the door. She stomped out of the building, marching up to her spinning daughter. Darcy didn't even look up at her mother until she was only a few feet away. "Come on, Darcy" Natara said, gently taking her daughters hand.

"Where are we going?" Darcy asked. Following Natara out to the car. Natara didn't look at her daughter. People often said she looked like a doll, since her face was often expressionless. They didn't see her during what she was told was called 'sensory overload'. They didn't know how she would cry out in utter fear and pain from the simplest of things. The high pitched buzzing of florescent lights. Or even the brightness of a television or lighting that was different from what was at home.

"Home" Natara answered, watching her climb in. Darcy didn't smile, but Natara knew she liked that word. _Home_. It meant she was going to the most familiar place in the world, where she felt safer than she could ever be.

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><p>"And I thought you were the sensible one" Mal said that night when Natara told him about the visit to the doctors.<p>

"You didn't hear what he said" Natara said sharply "He wants to send her to some 'special school'". She paused, but before Mal could even comment she added "She doesn't need that".

"So what are we supposed to do?" he asked "she starts school in a few weeks, how's she supposed to cope with all those people there? All those other kids?".

Natara thought for a moment "Then we'll get her used to crowds" she said "We'll take this into our own hands".


	3. Chapter 3

**Review Replies:**

**_diamondsintheroughhh_:**

**That's rough. I know autism is different for everyone, one of my best friends as a child was autistic. She moved far away a few years ago, but I'll never forget what being her friend taught me. I leaned a different way of seeing things, I learned how she sees the world. I think her autism was moderate and high functioning, for she could speak, but as I was fairly young I can't be sure. **

_**mozzi-girl:**_

**Thanks, adorableness intended :) thanks. **

_**Oryt:**_

**Thanks, I've always felt strongly about children with disabilities. I work in a pre-school, so I often see things like this. We learned about Temple Grandin a while ago in school, and oh my gosh I just admire her. **

_**MaltaraFluff647:**_

**Thanks, children with disabilities is always something I've felt strongly about. I had a friend as a child who had autism (before she moved far away) and I think she really opened my eyes and let me see the world the way she does. **

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><p>Natara had to admit, she was eternally grateful for Darcy's science teacher. Darcy was ten now, just entering fourth grade. It was in her first week when she had received a call from Darcy's school, and it didn't surprise her. She was already doubting her decision to keep Darcy in public school, she seemed to be almost failing everything except science. When Natara walked into Darcy's teachers class, she wasn't expecting what came next.<p>

"Your daughter has a gift" she explained, motioning Natara to sit on the other side if her desk.

"What?" Natara said in shock. That wasn't what she was expecting. She had revived numerous calls for both Darcy and Cassy over the years. Cassy's mostly being about another record she set running Track, or a call asking if she was interested in running a marathon for some charity. Darcy's usually included her low grades, or occasionally asking how to handle when she had one of her 'sensory overloads'. It always seemed Darcy was perpetually in Cassy's shadow, hearing the words 'Darcy has a gift' was new. People were usually shocked to hear six-minute-mile-Cassy was related to, as most people who couldn't remember her name referred to her as 'That autistic girl'.

"Darcy" she said smiling "she has a gift".

"At what, science?" Natara asked, feeling rather stupid as if Darcy's 'gift' was obvious.

"She sees in pictures" she said smiling. She grabbed a book from a nearby shelf, opening it up and placing it open on her desk. "If either of us looked at this page, there's only so much we could retain. When Darcy looks at this page, her mind takes a picture. For example, if I would mention a horse to Darcy, she would remember every horse she's ever seen. Pictures on a calendar, pictures in books, anywhere she's seen the word horse before. She sees it as if the pictures being held right in front of her. So when she's working on a test, she just remembers the picture her mind took of this page and reads from it. It's amazing" she said breathlessly.

"So why is she only doing well in your class?" Natara asked "shouldn't she be able to do this in all her other classes?".

"People like Darcy often focus on one subject. If we can teach her with that subject, incorporate science into other things, it'd help her" she said.

Natara looked at her strangely "How do you know this?".

She shrugged "My brother was autistic, but that didn't make him any less than what he was: a child. He liked trains. So I taught him how to count with trains. I taught him science by showing him how an engine worked. He was like Darcy, different-"

"-but not less" Natara finished for her, standing up and shaking her hand. "Thank you Mrs.—"

"Colton" she said "Mrs. Colton".

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><p>"Please?" Darcy begged "it's for school!".<p>

Darcy's English project was nearing its due-date, and Mrs. Colton had kept her promise. The actual assignment was to write a paper about what one of her parents did for a living. Mrs. Colton had suggested they take Darcy to work with them, then she could write what she saw.

"I don't think that's a good idea" Natara whispered to Mal "We're homicide detectives! Who knows what she's going to see".

"Amy can watch her" Mal said "Amy's quiet, and I'm sure Kai'll keep her entertained".

"But who knows what kind of 'entertainment' that'll be" she said, thinking of Kai's kind of humor.

Mal smiled slightly at this and rolled his eyes "lighten up, it'll be fine".

And so that's how Darcy ended up walking into the station practically hiding behind her parents shadows, holding onto her mothers hand like a lifeline. Mal had told Captain Yeong about what Darcy had wanted, and she said she didn't mind as long as she stayed out if trouble.

"I'll take her down to Amy" Natara announced, already leading her downstairs.

"It's really quiet down here!" Darcy announced loudly, showing a rare smile. This was good. Quiet meant calm. Quiet meant good. As soon as they got downstairs Darcy's eyes widened, taking in all the new things to look at. Amy smiled at her as she entered, even though she wasn't even looking at her. As Kai stepped out from the shadows, her eyes immediately locked on his brightly colored shirt. Natara imagined her mind taking about a thousand pictures right now.

"I'll come back for you then Darcy" Natara said, very slowly letting go of her hand "Be good for Amy, tell her if you need anything".

She barley registered her mothers presence leaving, but her eyes had locked on another object. It was long forgotten, and little did Darcy know that it had been sitting there for years after Kai had shoved it in the corner after a never-to-be forgotten case.

"Is this a game?" Darcy asked loudly, holding up the chessboard with its small wooden pieces in a box on top.

"Oh, sweetie I think that might be to hard for you" Amy said kindly.

"Please?" Darcy asked, making her eyes wider. She had learned long ago this often worked.

And so thirty minutes later she sat across from Kai, her large pale eyes mesmerized by the seemingly endless checkered pattern. The game was already nearing the end, and it appeared Darcy was losing.

"Which way can I move my horsey again?" she asked.

"In an 'L' shape" Amy answered. She had been watching the progress of the game from across the room. "But there's nowhere you can move that piece right now".

But Darcy picked up the knight anyways, moving it in a perfect 'L' shape in a way Amy hadn't seen before. "Checkmate!" Darcy said excitedly, tapping Kai's king off the board with the side of her knight in excitement. Kai looked surprised, and it was obvious to Amy he hadn't let her win.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's so colorful!" Darcy exclaimed, looking at her sisters shirt, which bore a ribbon made of colorful puzzle pieces. Cassy had been contacted the summer Darcy turned fourteen to participate in a 'Attacking Autism' run. Cassy very gladly did so, her combination of a love of running and her passion for children like her sister contributing to her decision. She was easily one of the youngest there, but she had convinced a few of her friends to participate. Someone blew a whistle to call the runners to the starting line, and after a quick smile to her mother and father and stopping to pat her sisters hair, Cassy joined the other runners. She jumped a few times high in the air, drawing her knees in quickly and then jogging in place. She had inherited her mothers height, also taking her long thin legs that were already ready to start running in her small knit shorts. Someone yelled for them to start, and Cassy quickly took the lead. Her strides were seamless and smooth, carrying her several yards away from her companions with ease. After watching them go Mal, Natara and Darcy relocated to the half-way mark, waiting to see Cassy come by. Darcy watched with widened eyes as her sister came closer, her brightly-colored shirt shining in the bright sun. She waved as she walked by, excited to see her sister still in front of the other runners. That's when things made a turn for the worse. Cassy's foot hit a small pothole, her ankle twisting at an odd and impossible angle. Her face showed a brief moment of shock, and she made a small squeaking noise as she fell to the ground. Her knee took the impact of the hard earth, and she did not get back up again. Natara stood in utter shock as her daughter fell, and Mal reacted before she did by calling Cassy's name. He was already running to her when Natara grabbed Darcy's wrist, whispering softly "come on".

Mal grabbed Cassy's arm, trying to get her out of the way of the other runners, as they were coming from the hill and would be unable to stop in enough time. He could hear them coming closer, and instead grabbed her around her shoulders and knees, carrying her out of the way. A few seconds later several people came speeding by, unaware that they could have nearly trampled a girl.

"Are you okay?" Natara said, trying to get a good look at Cassy's ankle.

"I don't know, I think I heard something snap!" she said. She wasn't crying, but her face was scrunched up in pain "that freakin' hurt!".

"Can you move it?" Natara asked, still trying to look at Cassy's ankle, but every time she touched it Cassy would instinctively recoil.

"If I could would dad be holding me like a toddler right now?" she asked sarcastically through gritted teeth. "God that hurts!".

"Let's get you to the hospital" Natara said, still holding onto Darcy's wrist so her daughter didn't panic.

"No!" she protested "this is my last race before I go to college! I want to finish it!".

Darcy didn't hear her parents protest over what Cassy wanted, only focusing on her sisters last words. "I'll finish it for you!" Darcy announced loudly.

Cassy's face scrunched in confusion over her sisters words. Without a response from either if her parents, Darcy yanked her wrist from her mothers grip and began to run the path. Cassy insisted on staying to watch, being supported by Mal. Darcy's strides weren't nearly as smooth as her sisters, and she lagged several yards behind the crowd. But Cassy loudly cheered her sister on from that point until they met up again at the end. And when Darcy ran to the finish line, sweaty and much later than the others, she was smiling as if the whole world were cheering for her.

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><p>Of course Mrs. Colton wasn't Darcy's teacher anymore, but she still kept in touch. She seemed to have taken Darcy's education personally, and would often visit to make sure Darcy understood what she was learning. If she didn't, then she made sure she did. She showed up to Darcy's graduation, grey already dotting her hair. Darcy recognized her in the crowd, waving cheerfully at her during the ceremony and causing several people to laugh. Thanks to her Darcy ended her final year at high school fairly well, nowhere near the top of her class, but happily in the middle. Long before her graduation though, Darcy had been told countless times she shouldn't go to college. That she wouldn't make it through. But it was something Darcy had wanted ever since they had dropped off Cassy at her college, and this meant if course that anyone else's negative opinions were long forgotten.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, I'm taking a poll on which stories you think I should do next. I posted about six new ideas at the bottom of my profile and if you could review on this story which ones you want to see next (you can vote multiple times, I really don't care). When I update next I'll take the stories with the top votes and chose from them. Thanks! —A**

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><p>Darcy walked into her dorm, throwing her things on a nearby chair. That was it. It was her last day of college, and she had just gotten wonderful news.<p>

"You're valedictorian!" Macy, her roommate, screamed loudly as Darcy entered. Darcy smiled at her, it seemed Macy was more excited than she was. It was understandable, Macy was her best friend.

_It was in her first day she had met Macy, seeing her for the first time as she was dragging her things up the stairs. Macy had been setting up a lamp in their kitchenette, and when it plugged in it filled the room with a all-to-bright white light. Darcy had squinted, the brightness overwhelming to her eyes. Macy had immediately seen her face at this, unplugging the lamp. "Are you okay?"._

_"Yeah" Darcy said, stuttering slightly. She wasn't quite ready for the world to know she was autistic, not ready for people to say she didn't belong here before she had a chance to prove herself. But she couldn't think of anything, and thought maybe it was best to tell the truth. "I-I have autism"._

_"Really?" she said._

_"Can't you tell?". Her whole life people could instantly tell she had autism, simply from how she spoke and acted. It was true her speech was improving, but she hadn't known it was unnoticeable._

_Macy had shrugged "Not until you told me. I didn't even notice it"._

"Hard to believe a few years ago people told you that you didn't belong here, and look at how you showed them!" Macy said excitedly. "Oh, before I forget, you might want to check your phone. It's been ringing like crazy".

Nodding, Darcy walked back to her room and grabbed her phone off her bed, playing the voicemail and holding it up to her ear. Her mothers voice, slow and solemn, began to play.

"Hey Darcy, I didn't really want to tell you this over the phone, but your friend…Mrs. Colton…she died". Darcy's breath caught in her throat, she almost missed the next part if the call. "Your father and I'll be down tomorrow to pick you up, her funeral's tomorrow. We'll drop you off in time for graduation next week, congratulations by the way". The phone beeped, cutting off her mothers voice. And it was there, alone in her room, that Darcy cried.

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><p>The sun mocked Darcy the next morning as she dressed in black, a color she despised wearing. Cassy always liked the color, saying it was simple and elegant, but Darcy hated it. It was to dark, too sad. She didn't even give Macy a quick goodbye as she walked out the door, making her way down to the parking lot. She had known Mrs. Colton had been sick for a while…but dead? When had this happened? She spotted her parents car, and got in without saying a word. The service was small, a hundred or so people there. It seemed as if it were over minutes after it began, half the crowd laughing at memories, the other half crying. Darcy, it seemed, was stuck in between. It was much later, after Mal and Natara had brought Darcy home for the weekend, that Darcy asked softly "where do they go?".<p>

Natara sat next to her daughter, not looking at her as she said "I don't know".

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><p>After that Darcy seemed to go backwards, as if Mrs. Colton had taken any progress Darcy had made with her. She was quiet, barely speaking. Cassy returned home that weekend also, wanting to know how her sister was doing. Darcy didn't have class on Monday, so she stayed home that day too. It was on that day that Natara approached her daughter.<p>

"Mrs. Dalton, a few weeks ago, called me about this" she said, placing a flyer in front of Darcy. She didn't read it.

"It's a convention" she said "parents with kids with autism go there to learn more about it. She said they'd be glad to have you, as an example. To show them their kids can still do anything they want to, be like you. Go to school and get a degree in psychology, or whatever they want".

Darcy nodded slowly "I want to go".

Natara smile "I thought you would".

And so a few hours later Darcy found herself being taken to this convention by her mother, sitting in the crowd and waiting for a speaker that they were seeing to start. Nearby a girl, like Darcy had, was spinning in her chair. Her mother was begging her to stop.

"Sora, stop. Stop. Stop it, sweetie. Stop. Sora—"

"She can't help it" Darcy said, stepping in. The woman looked at her strangely. "She's overloaded" Darcy explained "the constant motion calms her down".

Darcy didn't know the whole room had gone quiet. That the speaker, who had just stepped up on the stage, had come down to listen.

"How do you know that?" she asked "do you have children with autism?"

"No" Darcy said "but I have it".

The woman looked at her with widened eyes. "Are you cured?".

Darcy smiled. "No, I'll never be cured. And even if I could, I don't know if I'd want to be. It's who I am, it's how I think. It made me want to go for my degree in psychology, and next week I'll have that ".

"Darcy-is it?" another voice asked. Darcy turned around, face to face with the woman who was supposed to be the speaker. She held the microphone out to her. "I think you have a better story to tell than I do".

Darcy quickly glanced down at Natara, who was beaming at her daughter. "My name is Darcy Fallon" she said quietly, but with the aide of the microphone it carried. The whole room remained deathly silent. "and I see the world differently. I have autism".

**Epilogue coming soon! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, I just posted a poll about which story I should do next, so if you could do me a favor and go to the top of my profile and vote (if you haven't already) that's be awesome!**

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><p>There was a small mental hospital a few miles from where Darcy had found an apartment, and this is where she found work. In her first week she was shocked to find a woman, one of the patients, lying on the floor. She was told this woman did so every day, and that it was best to ignore her. But she didn't. She watched as people stepped over the woman, even sat next to her and tied to get her to sit up also. But the woman wouldn't respond or even look at Darcy. Then, one day, she even laid next to the woman. She smiled at her, all she had wanted was someone to notice her, to understand her. That was when she met Ray.<p>

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><p>Ray was a boy, Darcy's age and much taller. She had seen him a handful of times, but didn't know the woman who would lie on the floor was his grandmother. He saw her lying and talking to her, and smiled. That woman, apparently, hadn't spoken in years. It wasn't very long after that that Darcy and Ray became good friends, and Darcy learned that Ray was a cop, about to be promoted to detective. That he worked at the same station as her parents. No one was really surprised when Ray and Darcy started dating, even less so when they married in less than a year.<p>

"What did you expect?" Amy commented upon hearing the news from Natara "she practically grew up here, and look at you and Mal! I'm not surprised she went for someone like that! In fact, if Ray wasn't always off getting into trouble on patrols, I would be surprised if she hadn't met him earlier".

And so, it was only a few years later when Darcy's daughter, upon having to do a project about what they wanted to be when they grew up, who ran excitedly into the station. She didn't even give her grandparents, who had taken over the job of Captain together, a glance before she ran down the stairs to the crime lab.

"What's Kari doing here?" Kai had said, staring at the small girl strangely.

"What, afraid you're gonna get your ass kicked in chess by another little girl?" Darcy said slyly. She smiled slightly as Kai rolled his eyes, and continued to watch her daughter take pictures with her camera for her project. It was only hours later that they left, Ray coming downstairs to tell Darcy and Kari it was time to go. As a greeting he had snuck up behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist until they reached the small bump that her stomach formed. She was to have a son this time, which she had proudly announced would be named Colton.


End file.
